Listening is harder than it seems. We're distracted, we have preconceived notions that get in the way of our curiosity, and we listen to people who tend to agree with us rather than seeking out different points of view. Listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about understanding and valuing the person speaking. In a workplace setting, real listening can be the difference between fostering innovation and stifling it. The higher up you go in the hierarchy, the more distorted the truth. It takes courage to speak truth to power. Here are some ways to invite people to speak candidly with you:
1. Be Present
Put Down Distractions: Close your laptop, silence your phone, and make eye contact.
Focus on the Speaker: Give them your full attention. Let them know you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say. If you're not able to pay full attention, better to say you're busy and schedule another time to talk than hide your irritation.
2. Practice Active Listening
Nod and Acknowledge: Show that you’re engaged with non-verbal cues like nodding or making small verbal acknowledgments like “I see” or “Go on.” You may not even be aware that you're facial expression appears closed down or critical.
Reflect Back: Summarize what they’ve said in your own words to confirm your understanding. For example, “So, what I’m hearing is…”
Break out of your "echo chamber." Active listening means soliciting input from constructive disrupters, those people who will tell you their truth, and disagree with you. Listen fully to these folks as they'll hopefully provoke you to rethink your assumptions
3. Ask Truly Curious Open-Ended Questions
Encourage Elaboration: Use questions like “Can you tell me more about that?” or “What do you think we could do differently?” Lead with curiosity. Perfunctory questions won't create the kind of deep connection that truly curious questions will.
Avoid Interrupting: Give them space to express their thoughts fully before you respond.
Avoid defensiveness: As Kim Scott of Radical Candor says, once you shut people down, they won't come back.
4. Validate Their Perspective
Acknowledge Emotions: Recognize and validate their feelings. Statements like “I can see why that would be frustrating” can go a long way.
Respect Differences: Even if you disagree, show that you respect their perspective and are open to understanding it.
5. Take Action
Follow Up: After listening, take concrete steps based on the conversation. This shows you value their input and are committed to making changes.
Check Back In: Revisit the conversation later to show that you’ve considered their feedback and to update them on any progress.
6. Cultivate an Open Environment
Invite Feedback: Regularly ask for input and make it clear that all voices are welcome. With quieter people, 1:1 might be better. When only some are speaking up in a meeting, specifically ask for people to share who have yet had a chance to speak. To get candor, ask, "what advice do you have for me?" vs. "what feedback do you have for me" to get a more candid response.
Lead by Example: Demonstrate real listening in your interactions, setting the tone for your team to do the same.
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